Daily stuff (cooking, showering, laundry) feels like climbing Everest in flip-flops
“Just think positive!” people who should be legally banned from speaking
Therapy that empties your wallet faster than a demon at happy hour
And yet… here you are. Pants optional. And yes, you’re probably reading this instead of doing the laundry.
Here's what we're NOT doing:
Promising enlightenment.
Telling you to wake up at 5AM for kale smoothies.
Pretending depression is solved with a vision board.
Instead, here's what you're really after:
Relief from the heaviness in your head
A sense of control, even if tiny
Structure that doesn’t collapse the moment you skip a day
So what’s all off this, then? The closest thing you’ll get to structure, sarcasm, and a sliver of control, without the kale smoothies.
That’s the point: not to sell you a book, but to hand you back some bloody leverage over your own life. You knew that’s why you clicked in the first place.
Why This Works (vs. Other Crap):
No “daily guilt trips”
Skip as much as you want; nothing breaks.
Sarcastic humor included
Because you don’t need another pep talk, you need a voice that gets it.
Every page = one win
Small completions build momentum.
It’s private
No therapist, no group, no “share your progress with the class.” Just you. And honestly, isn’t that how you prefer it?
The Misery Management Kit
Cheaper than therapy, less addictive than weed.
This Isn't for Everyone
Just you, obviously. You wouldn’t still be reading otherwise. And yes, I noticed you nodding at that.
How it works:
No waiting, no shipping delays, no strings attached. Getting your kit is dead simple.
Step 3
Choose your style:
Read on your device or print it at home for scribbles, highlights, and notes.
Step 1
Purchase securely in the shop.
Instant access — no need to wait for a package.
Step 2
Receive your download link right after checkout.
Works on phone, tablet, e-reader, or computer.
Every page stands alone. No dates, no shame, no falling behind. Which means no guilt trip if you decide Netflix wins tonight. You’ll just pick it up again when you’re ready — and you will, because you hate starting from scratch.
Why Bother Trusting This Thing?
Built from trial, error, and a lot of swearing. If the usual fixes didn’t stick, this one just might.
What Other Miserable Humans Will Say (Eventually)
Testimonials drop after launch. Until then, just imagine your name here, bragging that you finally showered three days in a row.
Insert a line about how “life-changing” and “better than therapy” this kit is. Only, you know… soon.
Join the Waiting List. Or Don't. It's your Sanity on the Line.
Work in progress.
Release date: October 01
Until then, you’re stuck with this landing page. Congrats.
Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.